The Monogamy Myth

图书信息

作者	Vaughan, Peggy
出版社	Newmarket Press
ISBN	9781557048813
出版时间	2009-08-01
字数	36.3万
分类	Newmarket Press,进口书,外文原版书,小说

读书简介

One of the most valuable survival guides for men or women recovering from a partner's affair.Featured on Oprah, 48 Hours, CNN, Fox News, and in USA TodayIn this landmark book, Peggy Vaughan helps us to understand the stages of suspicion, confrontation, and the healing process necessary to recover, including rebuilding self-esteem, the marriage/divorce dilemma, and seeking professional help. Packed with practical, time-tested advice and successful strategies, this authoritative guide reveals: You are not alone estimates are that at least 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an extramarital affair. People from all walks of life have affairs devoted parents, religious individuals, regardless of income or social class. Our society contributes to the prevalence of affairs. An affair does not mean the end of a marriage. Recovery is fueled by honest, open discussion of the affair. Substantiated by case studies, ongoing research, and the author's own experience, this updated third edition includes information on the role of the Internet in relationships, shares the words of others who are recovering from affairs, and describes the six-step program for establishing communication between partners that can actually prevent affairs.

目录

Cover

Praise

Title Page

Table of Contents

Acknowledgements

Foreword

A Personal Note from the Author

Introduction

PART I - WHY AFFAIRS HAPPEN

1 - Beyond Personal Blame

BLAMING YOURSELF

BLAMING YOUR PARTNER

BLAMING THE RELATIONSHIP

BLAMING THE THIRD PARTY

WHY WE TAKE IT PERSONALLY

2 - How Society Contributes to Affairs

LEARNING TO LIE ABOUT SEX

THEM VS. US

SEX FOR SALE

THE FAIRY-TALE MARRIAGE

A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS

THE CODE OF SECRECY

PART II - THE EXPERIENCE

3 - Suspicion and Confrontation

FIRST SIGNALS

RATIONALIZATION

DENIAL

WHEN TO CONFRONT

HOW TO CONFRONT

AVOIDING SUSPICION AND CONFRONTATION

4 - The Pain of Knowing

WHEN A PERSON WON’T TALK

NO EASY ANSWERS

DEALING WITH THE THIRD PARTY

PART III - THE HEALING PROCESS

5 - Rebuilding Self-Esteem

ASSESSING THE DAMAGE

CHANGING OUR WAY OF THINKING

SELF-ESTEEM AND THE SPOUSE

ALLOWING TIME TO HEAL

DELIBERATELY FOCUSING ON THE PROBLEM

BELIEVING IT’S POSSIBLE TO RECOVER

6 - Trust, Honesty, and Communication

REBUILDING TRUST

DON’T TRUST A PROMISE OF MONOGAMY

A COMMITMENT TO HONESTY

DEVELOPING HONEST COMMUNICATION

7 - Sexual Healing

SEXUAL ALIENATION

EXAMINING OUR IDEAS ABOUT SEX

GROWING UP MALE

GROWING UP FEMALE

SOME EFFECTS OF THE DIFFERENCES

FINDING WAYS TO HEAL

MAKING SEX BETTER

8 - Where and How to Get Help

SUPPORT FROM FRIENDS AND FAMILY

PROFESSIONAL HELP

HOW TO BENEFIT FROM PROFESSIONAL HELP

SUPPORT GROUPS

OTHER GROUPS

BOOKS

BECOMING YOUR OWN EXPERT

RESOURCES TO HELP YOU HELP YOURSELF

PART IV - A TIME OF RECKONING

9 - The Marriage/Divorce Dilemma

AMBIVALENCE

THE PRACTICAL FACTORS

SOME GUIDELINES FOR SOLVING THE MARRIAGE / DIVORCE DILEMMA

10 - Living with the Decision

CHOOSING TO STAY

CHOOSING TO LEAVE

ADJUSTING TO DIVORCE

LEARNING TO LOVE AGAIN

THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS

11 - A New Understanding of Affairs

OLD ASSUMPTIONS AND NEW UNDERSTANDINGS

BREAKING THE CODE OF SECRECY

IF SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS HAVING AN AFFAIR

PREVENTING AFFAIRS

ONLINE AFFAIRS

FUTURE GENERATIONS

Notes

Bibliography

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Copyright Page